I MISS YOU… Still…

I miss you when I cry,
Because you are no more there to hold me,
I miss you when I am happy,
Because you are no more there to share it with me,
I miss you when I m troubled,
Because you are no more there to understand me.
I miss you when it rains,
Because you are no more there to tease me.
I miss you when I am awake,
Because you are no more there to talk to.
I miss you when am trying to sleep,
Because you are no more there to text me good night.
I miss you when I am asleep,
Because you are no more there in my dreams.

I miss you all the time,
But especially when I think of all the good times we spent together,
And now I realize how I have lost them,
They were the best moments I spent with you.I
try to hear the raindrops falling on the roof,
But all I hear are my tears falling on the cheeks,
And know that I am missing you.

It felt so good when you said am special and close to you,
You made me feel like an angel,
We used to talk for hours on the phone,
and meet on every weekend,
And after every meeting it felt like a dream.
Friendship was everything, and love heaven.

I miss our phone calls at all hours of day and night,
Our walks in the park and on the road,
Our bus rides, and bus stop dates,
Our Spice,McD and vatika hangouts,
Planning for the future in A380 suites,
Our messages and chats,
Our sharing, our caring for each other,
Our code words, and laughing on each other’s friends,
Joking about rains and clouds,
Telling each other everything that happened during the day,
No matter how immaterial that might be,
We could not survive without each other,
And now we cannot live with each other.

Now that you are gone, it pains to think
Not only have I lost my love, but my best friend as well.
It hurts to miss you,Hurts to think about the choices u made,
Its my mistakes, and I lost you forever.
But you have not lost my love,
You are my world, my haven
I can never forget you,
And it breaks my heart everyday,
To think I don’t have you, and can never have you,
Yet I miss you.

"memories r always confusing.. making u laugh wen u remember d times u cried together..
and cry when u remember the time u laughed together".

This is neither a poem, nor a prose,
This has no rhyme or rhythm.
It has got nothing, saying in the traditional sense,
just my raw feelings from the deep silence.

Prayas Talent club - Starting a new Dimension in Prayas

From the long time , A thought is thumping in my mind. In Prayas we teach kids .. We gave lot of effort .We try our best. No doubt kids are always amazing. In spite of whole day school, condition in their home they eager to learn, eager to study more and more. Their pace may be slow , but they are trying really hard.
All effort paid off when 21 of our kids selected in Nayi .And our 5 old kids got good rank and marks.
However there is always a thought, a tease is there. In our school days we used to study in similar boring fashion. I am really proud of my teachers of school days. But now it’s our responsibility, it’s our creativity to deviate that similar way of teaching. Why not we started a class which not only give them learning but also give them some fun, enjoyment. We already know these kids have talent, but somebody need to bring that up. Some body need to give canvas to these young mind to draw their dream, somebody need to give them a platform to perform.
Vocalizing a thought is always easy .. but execution is always a daunting task. After many meetings , and literally using my full vocal power , the suggestion has been welcomed in one of our admission celebration. As I am initiator of thought, the responsibility came to me to execute the idea.
Now start the thought process, what are the activities which need to be planned, what will be games to be play .. how to relate them from teaching, how to relate them from kids daily routine life yet give them fun and uniqueness. It is really a daunting task.
Google is always a big rescuer in that. Isn't really amazing, whatever you wanna know just type in google and here comes all sort of information .. ( i know there is a brilliant algorithm of page ranking executing in behind ). After lots of information gathering/editing a final plan come into the picture. Now I am eager to execute this plan on coming Saturday the time slot ( 3- 5 pm , venue new class room of Prayas ) provided to me.

We live together…We shall die together . We can only be ..

We live together…We shall die together…And its ok if we are not Lovers!!!

Those words rang in her ears once again.They were together. Through their toddler days and finally the graduation years.
Hinting the possibility of a secret relationship to the world and then quietly laughing about this trick they played. Friends, truly, sincerely- Just friends!
A day came when they were walking through a not so well lit road and she was about to get hit by a car when he just pulled her back and saved her. It looked more like a super hero on a rescue mission to save the heroine…but then he was always like that.
She was convinced about it and happy in his shelter. Knowing fully well that love was taking place of friendship in his heart. But then, it was unsaid and lay untouched. But that particular day after saving her and taking relief that she was in one piece, without any wounds he gave her a moist eyed look and said- You know what… ‘We live together’. She didn’t know what to say in that tense, intense moment. So all she muttered was- ‘We shall die together.’
He looked deeper into her eyes and then finally gave a blank stare a wink and an unexpected reply- ‘Hey! And it’s ok if we are not lovers!’
She ran home. Angry, annoyed, confused, sad. Unable to understand why was it like that. The next 24 hours went brooding about that one single moment. Then finally she gave up and accepted that her first love story, if at all it was, had succumbed to time.
And this was it.They didn’t meet for many days after that. She saw him but hid away, though continued to look at him through the corner of her eyes, struggling to control the flutter in her heart that his presence still caused. From friendship…to almost love…to nowhere.

The next year brought wedding bells along. She looked like the princess of the world in her red outfit. The rites done, the blessings taken, her groom by her side, as she walked towards her car, there was a pat at her shoulder.He stood there. Dressed in classic black, with a bouquet in his hand. Yes, he looked better than most in that room.He said- ‘Hey beautiful! You will always be happy. I know that now. Do tell me if you need something.’She unaffected by the people around returned saying- ‘You should know about what I want. Remember, we lived together.’ To that he reacted with a smile and words she knew well with an added question mark- ‘We shall die together?’ The satire in the way he said it made her laugh and reply- ‘Ya...and its ok…we are not lovers.’
Years passed. They weren’t living together anymore. Responsibilities pushed way into life and she forgot those words. Only one day when she was sending her daughter to school she heard about a badly injured major serving the Indian Army, lying dead in the hospital.She recognized the name. The photograph. There was no one to claim his body. He didn’t have a family. Just a few belongings. He was a great soldier they said. Fighting till the last minute. The true hero Well, she knew, he always was one.They didn’t find too many belongings. Just a diary. With his work schedules drawn. His rules written. His important things listed. His goals carved. Nothing of any importance to her. Except the last page where he had scribbled in red-

We hardly lived together....
I know we won’t die together
Still…we are, we can only be Lovers!!!